Not The Marrying Kind (Final conclusion)
Written by Lindsay Holmes based on characters created by Boaz Davidson

The conclusion to the guys escapades

"Wow it seems so long ago guys, back when the most important thing to us were girls and having a good time", Benji affectionately said as he gazed at the For Sale sign hanging over Montana's door.
"I cant believe they are finally selling this place, we always had such a great time hanging out here".

"Speak for yourself, old man" said Bobby as he tilted his shades, "I'm not not past it yet, there's still life left in me and plenty of women who are still to experience my good looks and charm!"

"Hey look it's Huey! Martha finally let you out has she?" Bobby teased.
"Stop teasing you guys, Martha and I have a understanding".
"Yeah she say's jump, and you ask how high", Benji and Bobby chorused together.
"Ha Ha very funny, actually Martha's with your beloved Annie all day, so I can spend the day with you guys"

"Huh, there's nothing much going on here, said a bored Bobby. "Benji is just going to be trying wedding suits all day, not my idea of a good time at all!"

"So Martha and I haven't put you off getting married then, hey Benji?" laughed Huey.
"Sure haven't, I cant wait to stand in the church with Annie and make my vows".
"Geez, cut it out you two, these mushy stuff is making me feel sick!" said Bobby
"Listen to casanova there, we all have to settle down sometime you know!" giggled Huey as he nudged Benji
"If it means not having a good time ever again, I don't want to know, so just shut it, I'm not the marrying kind!

"Come on lets get a move on, I cant wait to try my suit on", Huey said excitedly. Bobby couldn't believe that the only thing these days guaranteed to get Benji and Huey excited was shopping for weddings!
If this is what love is all about, then they can keep it!


By the time they had got to the shop, Bobby had cheered up, especially when he noticed that the old tailor had been replaced by a cute assistant called Meg. Perhaps today wouldn't be so bad after all.
"As your best man, I think I should be first to get fitted", said Bobby racing to the back of the shop with the assistant.
"Hey who made you best man, said Huey giving Benji an angry look.
"Not me, come on you guys, give me a break, I'm having a hard enough time deciding in the first place". "Huey, just let Bobby go first"
"That's nothing new, since when did he ever go second or third for anything?"
"True", laughed Benji.
At the back of the shop, Bobby quickly worked his charm on Meg, and it wasn't long before he was taking her measurements, and had completely forgot all about his suit.
Benji soon got his suit sorted, and then it was Huey's turn, "Hey man she is hot for it" said Bobby as he encouraged Huey. "Hey no way, I'm married now, I cant cheat on Martha, it's not fair!"
Bobby was annoyed, but had an idea to get back at Huey. "Benji, why not leave him in the store in just his underwear, we will take his clothes, it will be a scream!"
"We cant, were not kids anymore" said Benji
"Relax it is just a bit of fun, it will be just like old times"
"Okay lets do it" laughed Benji.
"Wait I have a a better idea", said the assistant, "leave it to me and be outside at the front of the shop in five minutes"
They went outside and waited, and saw Huey bending over in just his underpants in full view of everybody in the shop window! Benji and Bobby were in hysterics and Huey couldn't contain his embarrassment as old lady banged on the window calling him a filthy beast!
"I just knew today, was going to be fun" laughed Bobby!


The next day Bobby and Huey made their way to the estate agents.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Bobby?" Remember East Of Eden?"
"Yeah but that was different we were just kids then, we had no idea it would turn out so bad, did we?"
"We cant let just anybody buy Montana, it is our special place remember?
"I just hope we can get the money!" moaned Huey.
"Sure we can, we both have jobs now, besides this is going to be a great wedding surprise for Benji, he will love it!"
Meanwhile Benji was at home with his mother, father and cousin Joshua.
"Annie will look so wonderful in my dress, I was such a beauty when I married your father, and I am sure Annie will look just as nice"
"Not this again, mother Annie doesn't want to wear your dress, she has already picked one"
"And who pray tell will be paying for this, I ask? Who does she think she is?"
"Sonia, dear just leave it, you cant expect her to wear your dress it wont be in fashion"
"Who cares about fashion on a wedding day?!" Benji's mother continued to mutter away.
Benji gave a smile to Joshua, "You have all this to come buddy"
"Hey no way, I'm off out, catch you guys later!"
Secretly Benji reflected how lucky he was, truthfully he would have left home years ago, but he just knew he would miss his dear mother and father and all their quirky ways. It had took someone special like Annie to persuade him, to branch out on his own. If he hadn't took that job his father had recommended him for he wouldn't have met Annie, and for that he would always be grateful.


"Hey guys come in, I have got chips, dips, beer, the whole works. This is going to be a great poker night. I feel lucky!" It was card night at Huey's and he was in full swing, tonight he wasn't going to be fooled out of his money by Benji and Bobby, who somehow managed to always have the most money left at the end of the evening!
Already though Huey was out of pocket, when Bobby bummed a 20 from him. "Do you know how much you owe me already?" "No, why don't you get out your little black book out and tell me?" teased Bobby, whilst Benji sat laughing.
Later the mood changed to talk about Benji's wedding. "What have you got planned for the stag night Benji?" enquired Bobby. "Nothing much I haven't really thought about it"
"In that case leave it to me and Huey we will make sure it is a night to remember!"
"Well I'm not sure about that" said Benji cautiously, but Huey and Bobby were already making plans for a good time.

"So tell me Bobby just what exactly have you got planned for Benji?"
"Well you know the new club in town, I have heard they have some great strippers there" said Bobby.
"Is that it?" asked Huey obviously put out by Bobby's lack of imagination.
"What do you mean, is that it?, where else can you go around here and find girls that hot?" enquired Bobby. "I don't have to go anywhere, I got the lovely Martha back at home!"
"Oh come on, Martha is sweet that's for sure, but she's no glamour queen now is she?"
"Hey that's my girl you are talking about"
"Cool yer boots Huey I was only messing, now lets get back to planning our night".

"Just imagine, this time next week my boy will be a married man, I cant really believe that the wedding is going ahead. I remember the time when it was a different girl every couple of weeks", remember Sonia, Benji never stayed in love too long. "Well that is what happens when you meet the right girl, even Huey has settled down, and I never thought I would see the day when anyone would fall for him!"
"Now only Bobby is left to find a nice girl".
"Sonia, stop your match making please, leave the boy alone!" Ramek and Sonia argued as Benji came through the door ready for his stag night out.
"Catch you guys later" called Benji. "Have a good time" said his father
"Yes but not too good a time you forget you are getting married, I don't want Annie getting upset", lectured his mother.

"Hey here he comes", the guys chorused as Benji came into view.
"Hi, where are we going?" asked Benji.
"We have to wait for Victor" said Huey.
"What have you invited him for, he only spoils things" said Bobby as he pulled a face.
"Hey he is not so bad, I don't mind" said Benji.
Victor finally arrived and the guys made their way to the club, where things were in full flow.
"Pay the man, Huey" said Bobby.
"Hey why me? I am always paying",
"Well you shouldn't mind then", piped in Victor. His little quip earned him a smack in the face from Huey and Victor ended up paying for the guys to get in the club. Maybe Victor should come more often thought Huey, things would certainly be cheaper for him!
"Man, look at the chicks in here, and you said you didn't want to come Huey! Are you crazy?" said Bobby looking around like a kid in a candy store.
"I have to admit, they are really great" said Benji.
Huey and Victor were already off looking for the best seats for all the action.
"Even things like getting married, doesn't stop Huey having a good time, look at him go" laughed Bobby. "Sure you can still have fun and get married Bobby, why not try it?" teased Benji.
"What and stay with the same girl forever, I don't think I could manage that!".
"Hey guys you are missing out on all the action" shouted Victor.
"Come on Bobby, lets go and see what we are missing out on".
Victor was sat blowing kisses to the girls, until Huey slapped him.
"Stop it will you, you are making a show of us, if you want to get a girl, you gotta play it cool, aint
that so Bobby?"
"Sure you do, you don't want to let a girl know you are interested, watch this!" said Bobby as within minutes he managed to get a stripper over to him.
"How do you do it?" said Victor "Charm, great looks, wit ", "and a whole lot of luck!" chimed in Huey and Benji. "Yep that's it guys, you got it" laughed Bobby.
"Anyway cool it down, you guys here comes the main attraction", but their jeers soon turned to tears for Benji as he noticed it was Annie looking like he had never seen her before.
Unable to believe his eyes, Benji grabbed Annie by the shoulder and demanded to know what she was doing. "Look at you, you look like a whore" said Benji.
"Get-off me, what's it got to do with you!" replied Annie with a uncaring expression on her face.
Shocked at her reaction, Benji stormed out of the club.
"Benji, wait" shouted the guys, but Benji was in no mood to listen and he ran down the street to take in what he had just seen.
"Why did you suggest coming here Bobby, you have spoilt everything" said Huey
"Hey chubby, lets get one thing straight, I didn't know what Annie was up to, it is not my fault" argued Bobby pushing Huey to the ground.
"Some night this has turned out to be" muttered Victor. To which both Bobby and Huey shouted "Shut Up!"
As they had been busy arguing amongst themselves, Benji was already out of sight.
"Huey, you go after him, I can't be seen running round the streets chasing after Benji, you go and fix things like usual". Bobby said walking back toward the club.
As Huey and Bobby headed they own separate ways, Victor stood in the middle of the street wondering which direction to go until he felt a Huey's huge arm grab him to follow him.

The next day, Benji still couldn't get his head round what he had seen the night before. He loved Annie and thought she loved him, but he couldn't forgive this. She had made him look a fool in front of his friends, just what the hell was she playing at?! He was still thinking about it when Victor and Huey turned up that afternoon. "It might not have been what it looked like" reasoned Huey.
"What her clothes just happened to fall off?!"
"No but she could have had a good reason to be doing it, Benji"
"No reason is good enough, if she needed the money why didn't she come to me?" said Benji.
"I don't know Benji, but you know Annie she was always too proud to ask for anything".
"Why don't you just go and see her and sort things out, you know you want to Benji" said Huey.
"Hey no way, it is up to her now" Benji said defiantly.

Elsewhere Bobby was waking up in Carrie's arms. "That was the best night ever Bobby" she purred.
"Well I do aim to please", Bobby grinned.
"Who would have thought that Annie would have a twin sister, even more gorgeous".
"I guess you could call me the black sheep of the family, my parents cant stand what I do, and as for Annie well she just doesn't want to know".
"Maybe we should go and see Benji and try and straighten things out for Annie's sake".
"Yeah we should I cant wait to see Benji's face when he sees us both together!" said Bobby.
"First though I have to go to the estate agents and finish something important".
"Oh? What's that? You thinking of moving Bobby?"
"No it's a surprise for Benji, you'll see he is going to love it!, that's if the wedding ever goes ahead!". "Don't say that, Annie will have even more reason to hate me".
"Well, I guess we better go and see Benji and sort everything".
Back at Benji's, Victor and Huey were still trying to talk Benji round, when Bobby and Carrie walked though the door locked in a embrace. Immediately Benji flared up, "Of all the dirty tricks, Bobby",
"You bastard, you just couldn't bear to see anybody happy" Huey chorused.
Benji went to sling Bobby a right hook, before Bobby grabbed it and fell about laughing.
This just infuriated Benji even more and he socked Bobby on the jaw before Carrie had the chance to explain everything. "You see I wasn't seeing your girl, I cant believe you fell for that, Benji" Bobby explained. "I tell you something though, you sure can punch you little shrimp, my jaw is killing me!"
"Hey I'm sorry but you shouldn't have played that trick it was cruel".
"Yeah but I told you didn't I? Without me you might never have known until it was too late"
"You could have told me last night, straight away".
"Ah, last night we were kind of busy" smirked Bobby to a embarrassed Carrie. "Yeah busy screwing!" giggled Victor. Huey beckoned Victor over, "What is it chubby?" he was answered with a slap. "Don't be so crude!".
All the gang laughed, and Benji was safe in the knowledge he was doing the right thing and getting married to the girl he loved. Bobby on the other hand, was feeling kind of funny too, as he looked over at Carrie and realized he felt something he had never quite felt before, was he in love or was he just feeling dizzy after the punch to the jaw?!

Finally the big day arrived, Benji's mother was in a fluster, and his father tried to deliver Benji a unwanted facts of life speech much to his embarrassment. Benji had already decided that Huey and Bobby meant too much to him to choose who was going to be his best man, so they had already agreed it was to be his cousin Joshua.

At the brides house, Martha was helping Annie get ready for her big day.
"Why don't you ask Carrie to be your bridesmaid, Annie? She is your sister" asked Martha.
"It is too late now, I have no spare dress, I just wish we had patched things up long ago" cried Annie.
"She can have mine"
"No Martha, you are my best friend in the whole world, and I want you by my side"
"I still will be, but this way I can keep a eye on my big guy, you know what Huey's like".
"Yes I think we all know what Huey's like!" laughed Annie.
Well guy's this is it, I am finally getting married Benji said with a tear in his eye.
"You'll be fine, I'm the happiest I have ever been since I married Martha" said Huey.
"What? How about all the great times we have had, surely you cant forget about that" Bobby asked.
"Yeah sure we had some really great times, but this is different, you know?"
"Yeah I think I do" said Bobby with a faraway look in his eyes.
It was a surprise for everyone when Annie walked down the aisle with Carrie by her side, and Bobby was just as amazed looking at Carrie as Benji was looking at Annie. Feeling his ring in his pocket, Bobby knew he was about to make the right decision.
"Boy do we have a surprise for you, Benji" said Bobby and Huey as they pulled Benji and his new bride down the street.
"Hey I have a reception to get to, guys" said Benji.
"That's exactly where we are going" laughed Huey.
"What but this is Montana?"
"That's right, it's ours Benji!"
"What you have actually bought it?"
"Sure have, we couldn't let Montana just get turned into some arcade place".
"That's not all, step inside" Benji welled up inside when he saw the place was just like he remembered and to top it off everyone he ever knew had turned up at his reception and gave a big cheer as he stepped inside.
During speeches it was blushes all around as Huey delivered some embarrassing stories about the guys colourful past, until Bobby stepped in and saved the day. As he was about to finish, he warned the guys not to laugh as he asked for Carrie's hand in marriage. "I guess you could say Mr Cool is finally settling down" he said as he put a arm around Carrie's shoulders.
Everyone started rolling around with laughter, and Bobby was about to get annoyed until he realized they were laughing at Huey getting chased by an Irate women, who thought he had been peeking under her skirt when actually he had been searching for his wallet!
Yes, one thing was for sure, some things just never change!

Copyright Lindsay Holmes 2002
Please do not publish or use elsewhere without my permission.